Bat Shit Crazy
I’ve always questioned the reality I lived in since I was a child. So many things happened to me growing up that didn’t make sense. I grew up in a constant state of confusion. Some of the confusion was intentionally placed. As an adult I’ve spent a lot of time unpacking the things I’ve endured in life & I truly believe everything that I’ve endured held a lesson that brought me to where I am today.
I try to learn something from everything I go through & try to teach what’s been taught to me through my lived experiences.
I’ve spent the past year unpacking the childhood trauma I endured & the things I witnessed growing up. I’ve had to address how my childhood trauma impacted my adult relations. It impacted how I interacted with community & impacted how I existed in a predominantly white city. I’ve tried to interact with life beyond being in a state of survival. It took a lot for me to get to where I needed to be for community & I am forever grateful for the people who showed me grace as they saw me partake in the journey of healing. I had to confront myself so many times over the last year and be brutally honest about what I endured and everything in life that brought me to the conditions I was experiencing. I stood toe to toe with the trauma I’ve endured in life and had honest conversation with myself about how these things still impacted me 15-20 years later. I knew the trauma left a mark but I didn’t realize it was enough for me to disregard my physical health to protect my mental health.
I’ve thought about sharing this story multiple times. I didn’t know how to talk about it without sounding like I lost my mind. I low key couldn’t believe the events that took place and the childhood trauma it forced me to address. My entire life has been a mixture of chaotic events only the universe is creative enough to write that forces me to be the person I am today. Also I don’t like writing & don’t have much writing skills so bear with me as a take you down this journey.
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